Breathing is a natural function that we all perform, all day every single day of our lives. While breathing is one of the most basic life sustaining acts, something that is so ingrained in us that we mostly don’t give it a second thought, it is also so much more than that. People have understood for a very long time that our breath is not only the key to our survival, but to our well-being, mood, energy, and vitality as well. Across time and culture, people all over the world have found and practiced many different breathing techniques to alter their physical and mental states. We can use some of these techniques for our own purposes to energize ourselves and our interactions with our partners, to strengthen and deepen our intimate connections, as well as to improve our sexual relationships and experiences.

There are many different breathing techniques that we could use to accomplish the goal of bonding with our partner’s and heightening our sexual experiences. However, this article is only going to cover three: the Breath of Fire, Tandem Breathing, and Sharing Breath. These techniques are simple, easy to integrate and implement in real life, and you don’t need to be a Yogi Master with 30 years of experience to properly perform them and see results.

Breath of Fire

This breathing technique is also known as The Dragon’s Breath. The Breath of Fire is one of the foundational breathing techniques taught in Kundalini Yoga. This breath is fantastic for raising your energy levels, clearing your mind, and centering yourself. The Breath of Fire was the breathing technique that helped me realize just how impactful breath manipulation can be, and inspired me to further explore the benefits of breath control. I like to use this to clear my mind of everything that has happened that day in order to be more present with my partner. We will also sometimes use this breath together to raise energy before we play.

  1. Sit or stand up straight and tall. This aligns your spine, takes pressure off your diaphragm, and allows you to more easily feel your belly expand and contract with each inhale and exhale.
  2. To understand how this breath should go, think of a dog panting. Open your mouth and begin to pant just like a dog would. To see if you are performing the breath correctly, check your belly button. It should be pumping in and out with each complete breath. Your chest should remain relaxed not tight while performing this breath.
  3. Once comfortable with this breathing rhythm, close your mouth and bring your breath to your nose. Quicken your pace, making sure to keep your breath balanced, you want to keep your inhale and exhale equal. You should be getting 2-3 complete breaths per second once you have ramped up your pace.
  4. Continue this breath for 1-3 minutes. You are super oxygenating your blood, and expelling built up CO2 through this process.
  5. I like to finish this breathing technique, by taking as deep a breath as I can, ensuring that my belly is pushed way out, showing that I have filled my lungs to capacity. Then breathing everything out through pursed lips. Exhaling as long as I can, and ensuring my lungs have nothing left to push out.

After performing the Breath of Fire your mind will be clear, you should feel energized, more “alive”, and possibly even a little dizzy.



Tandem Breathing 

This breathing technique is very basic, but is a powerful tool to connect with your partner. This is a great place to begin bringing breathing exercises into your relationship because it is simple and non-threatening. This exercise is a great stepping stone for those who may feel breath manipulation is out of their comfort zone. With only a little effort they will see the benefits breath can have on their sex life and in deepening their relationship. When combined with prolonged eye gazing and physical contact tandem breathing can be very effective in getting you and your partner in sync with one another.

  1. Get in a comfortable position facing your partner (lying or sitting) where you can gaze into each other's eyes.
  2. Begin with each of you focusing on taking deep lung filling breaths, breathing more deeply than normal will make this exercise easier.
  3. Bring your attention to your breathing as well as your partner’s breath. Listen to the sounds of the air moving past your nostrils on the inhale, and past your lips on the exhale.
  4. Synchronize your breathing with one another until you are inhaling and exhaling as one.

During this technique is a great time to make physical connection holding hands, or placing your hand over your partner’s heart. Lightly running your fingers over their body to excite and tantalize them. The eye gazing with one another, allows you and your partner to sink into the experience of being connected and in sync with one another.


Sharing Breath

Sharing Breath is also called “Circling Breath”. It is exactly what the name sounds like it would be, sharing your breath with your partner. I feel that this is one of the most intimate breathing techniques, and when done during sex can heighten the connection and experience shared with your partner. This technique is also a great way to slow down and prolong sex while adding a level of sensuality to it. After all what could be more bonding and energizing than taking in the life force that has sustained your partner?

  1. Get into a position where you are both comfortable, and able to gaze into each other's eyes.
  2. Move your faces closer together, bringing your lips to within an inch or two of each other.
  3. Make sure to breath in and out of your mouths. As your partner exhales, you inhale, filling your lungs with the air that has just been filling theirs.
  4. As you become comfortable with this, lock lips with your partner. It helps if one of you offsets your head slightly, so that your noses don’t get in each other's way. Breathing only through your mouths to ensure you are not taking in any air from outside the system you have created between yourselves. Sometimes I will pinch my partner’s nose to control their air intake, and ensure that they aren’t cheating.

Human beings exchange roughly 25% of the oxygen in the air we breathe with CO2 in each breath. As you continue to share breath back and forth, you will eventually burn up all the oxygen it contains. This can lead to feelings of lightheadedness, and a slight euphoria.

To make this technique last longer, “coming up for air” is necessary. Breaking off with your partner and allowing each of you to get a couple of lungfuls of fresh air before diving back in. It is also helpful to exhale longer and more forcefully when coming up for air, as this will help rid your body of the excess CO2 that has built up.


The Rule of Three

Breathing is more important than most of us realize. After all the saying goes we can survive three weeks without food, three days without water, but only three minutes without air. What could be more important than the breathing that infuses us with that air? I believe our breath is something that we under appreciate, under value, and underutilize. When used properly and with purpose breath can affect how we feel emotionally and physically, how we think, and how we connect with ourselves and others. Being more aware of how we breathe and using the techniques listed above can improve our well-being, sex life, and relationships. I encourage everyone to try out one of the breathing techniques above, and see for yourself what a difference giving your breath the attention and importance it deserves can make.

© Tantus, Inc. 2017. All Rights Reserved. 

Riley is a writer, sex educator, and presenter whose topics cover a wide range of things from body rituals to the Human orgasm. Having found his love of teaching and community service through the Salt Lake City Leather Community. Riley has developed a drive to spread his knowledge to those who can make the most use of it, believing that doing so is the best way to repay those who have helped and taught him along his journey.

Twitter: @TheRileySlater
FetLife: -Riley-

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