People get so hung up on their butts. And that is a pity. They walk around with such shame and self consciousness when it comes to attempting anal play.

It can be easy to succumb to the antiquated belief that “to be penetrated is to be weak, submissive, passive, and feminine” and “to penetrate is to be manly, strong, and in control”. There can be a lot of baggage with being on the receiving end of things. After all, for most of human history, strength and manliness have been associated with penetrating others. Manly men were the ones thrusting and the weaker ones were the ones taking the thrusting. In fact, in ancient Rome, to be penetrated was considered so shameful that it was actually used as a form of criminal punishment.

What if I told you that these archaic concepts are depriving you of immense amounts of sexual gratification? What if I told you that your ass is a payload of pleasure just waiting to be unlocked, all you have to do is find the courage to pick up the key?

Here is the thing: it is your body--not anyone else's.

What you chose to do in the privacy of your own home, with your own body, is your business, no one else’s. Why would you want to deprive yourself epic amounts of pleasure out of fear that some stranger out there will be judging you? Are there people in your bedroom taking notes on your personal activities?

Stop giving a fuck what others might think of you and go have some fun with your body. We waste so much precious time getting hung up on our bodies, cataloging every single flaw and defect. We even do it while in the middle of interacting with our partners. Talk about a bedroom buzzkill! You don't get back that wasted time you spend criticizing yourself. The truth is, people aren't spending nearly as much time judging you and your actions as you might think. They are WAY too busy thinking about themselves. Trust me on this. What YOU might be doing never even crosses other people’s minds.

The freedoms that come with dropping the baggage of body shame, guilt, and outdated notions of sexuality are mind blowing. Pleasure is its own (very delicious) reward. Do you want that pleasure? It is right there at the end of your fingertips. Waiting for you. Aching to be used. Go seize it! And once you have it firmly in hand, revel in the awesome and spread the good word to others: It feels good to feel good. It is as simple as that. Cast all the other unnecessary stuff aside. It isn't doing you any favors. The whole world is out there on a platter for you once you free yourself from your shackles of shame.

The truth is, the one that is on the receiving end is the one ultimately in control. Always and at all times. What you say goes and this is all about your pleasure. Lie back, relax, and let them work to please you. Ride the wave and sink into it.


Once you realize this, you are free. Free to do whatever feels good with your own body. It is the finest toy you will ever be given and people are afraid to play with it. They don't even know how their own body works. You might as well take the time to get to know your body, it is the only one you will ever have. You don't get to trade it in for a newer, different model, as if you were switching out cars. Learn to work with what you have been given and make it a glorious ride!

Getting to know how your body works is one of the most enjoyable homework assignments you will ever be given and that is the assignment I am giving you right now. Go out and have all the fun you deserve. Stick everything up your butt. Try ALL the things! Some things you might like. Some you might not. Keep doing the things you find fun. Jettison the things that you don't. But you will never know until you give it a chance. What are you waiting for?!?

© Tantus, Inc. 2017. All Rights Reserved. 

Website: Rain DeGrey is an international educator, writer, presenter and performer that has been teaching kink and sex education classes since 2009. After getting her start as a fetish model and Pro Domme, she was motivated to branch out into education, something she is extremely passionate about. Demystifying sexuality and presenting in a clear and humorous way are trademarks of her teaching style and she believes strongly in making sex education fun.

She has taught on a wide variety of topics at Harvard, Northwestern University,, The Citadel, Pure Pleasures, Stormy Leather, Folsom Fringe, The Looking Glass, KinkAcadamy, PassionateU, Mission Control and Boundcon in Germany. Her work has been featured in such places as Playboy TV’s “69 sexiest things to do before you die”, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, The SF Fetish Ball, Exotic Erotic, Rope::Burn, Kink-e-zine and Femina Potens. Additionally, she is a regular contributor to multiple online magazines.

Twitter: @raindegrey
Facebook: @raindegrey
FetLife: Rain DeGrey

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