I ran my hands across her skin. I could feel her nervousness as I touched her, my fingers feeling her soft curves as I slowly peeled her clothes off of her body. She had asked me many questions, nervously looking at my suspension gear. I knew that she likely had the voices of past lovers or potential play partners in her head telling her that she wasn't physically built for this kind of play. I waited for her to ask all of the questions I knew were swirling in her mind. She had heard of me and my railings against the body shaming that happens too frequently in the rope community.
She had read my words denouncing the arrogant and unkind judgments of rope tops that are too prevalent in the community. I had gone over the specs of my gear and detailed how much weight they could hold- at the time jokingly telling her that I could suspend a car with my gear. She nodded but I could tell she wasn’t sure. She had seen photos of women of all sizes who I had suspended before her but the voices of past ghosts are strong, especially when cemented in shame. I knew that she, like so many before her, had the ghosts of the past echoing in her mind.
I began to wrap my rope around her body, admiring the curves accentuated by the jute I was using. She had wanted this for a long time. I saw the light in her eyes as she spoke to me about how often she had thought about being beautifully tied in rope, suspended and admired. She had seen the tiny little rope bunnies, myself included, being artfully tied, suspended and adored and her mind always imagined herself there- not as them but as herself with her lovely curves. She had fantasized about this so often, only to be told it was unreachable for her.
I could see the tears behind those bright shining eyes as well, as she recounted the belief that she was too heavy- too imperfect- to do rope. She was afraid that maybe this was the time that I wouldn’t be able to do it. That maybe she really was just too heavy or not flexible enough. That somehow she was the one who would break my gear or be too much for my abilities. The fear that she would be the one who wouldn’t be able to experience the magic of suspension. I hadn’t understood the attitude myself when I began this journey 15 years ago.
15 years ago I was 110 pounds and the rope world embraced me. I always thought there was validity to the claims that bottoms needed to be a certain size. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered those were lies. I began a mission then, to help correct those wrongs. I knew the joy of flying and wanted to share in this experience with rope bottoms of any and every size.
She wasn’t too much. She was beautiful and perfect. The moment her feet came off of the ground and she was actually suspended in the air was an emotional wave for both of us. I touched her skin as I watched her settle in to the rope, becoming accustomed to the mix of pain and pleasure it brings. I opened myself to her and she opened herself to me and I saw the pure ecstasy in her eyes. I felt her joy and the dissipation of her fear as she realized that this was real, that she wasn’t all of those things that she had been told she was but instead a beautiful woman with fantasies that could be joyously filled and encouraged.
I saw it all written on her face. I’ve seen it too many times on too many faces.
Body shaming and fear planted by unskilled, cruel and arrogant tops. Ones who don’t grasp the beauty, creativity and pure joy that comes from working with someone with gorgeous curves that accentuate the rope. Riggers who can’t feel the overwhelming joy that comes from sharing this moment with someone to whom so much damage has been done- to feel healing and bliss in that moment of suspension.
It was for her and those like her that we chose to make a statement in the form of a VW bug. It was for her that we gathered in the Tantus warehouse, a group of friends with something to prove. It was for her that we snapped photos of every step, made video and showed how easy it was to suspend a car.
The atmosphere was exuberant and full of laughter as we wrapped our rope around a Volkswagen bug and lifted it into the air. We were full of righteous anger as we recounted the endless stories from women who had been disregarded and shamed because of their size. We set out to show that rope isn’t just for a single body type or a specific weight. Rope is for anyone- no matter disability, size, or perceived imperfection. Rope is for anyone who, like us, delights in the creative wonder and love that comes with the study of rope suspension. It was for those who had been abused, shamed, and spoken to so cruelly that we used only ropes, a Bido CatPaw Ring and a Volkswagen bug to prove that no bottom is too big, only Tops who are too small-minded.
(Image above shows from left to right Otter Levi, Michael Blacksmith, Mina Hart, and Hardy Haberman, all smiling and standing in front of the Volkswagon Bug that is suspended with Tantus Knot Fun Rope and a Bido Cat Paw Rigger)
©Mina Hart 2019
A self identified fiery femme, Miss Mina Hart began her public life in the Denver BDSM community in June of 2006. She studied rope under Master Robert of Denver Bound, and works as a professional switch for PavloviaDenver. She is a trained hypnotist, filmed with Discovery for Forbidden, and has taught at SKALES, The Crypt, COLLAR, Sin In The City in Las Vegas, Leather Fiesta in New Mexico, Behind Closed Doors in Tucson, Shamrocks and Shenanigans in New Mexico, The Hive in Boise, Beyond Leather in Ft. Lauderdale, Journey Las Vegas and San Francisco, Rocky Mountain Leather Alliance, The Path, RMR, Leather Quest and Flogfest in Salt Lake City and Revelry in Reno. She has performed rope demos at The Sex and So Much More Show, Tracks, Exile, The Ascension Ball, AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists), The Rack Room, and Denver Back Alley.
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